Crudelis Fatum Cruel Fate
by Shade Eido
Summary: Warning: This Story is about Suicide! One man's loss drives him over the edge. Thoughts of Gallows' death. Never Listen to Three Doors Down and then Aeris' song..( I know..Leave Gallows alone..)


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Crudelis Fatum

_Gallows' View_

I gaze out my window, watching as the children play. Their faces are all alight with vivaciousness and amity. Once upon a time, I was young like them. I had my dreams, my hopes… my destiny. But then… One fated day, my life changed forever…. The tears that I have shed are nothing but an empty melody in the void of fate. My name is Gallows, I just turned 48 yesterday… Has twenty four years really flown by that quick? I was married, but now she's gone, her body is lying in the graveyard, her bones turning into dust and her…There I go crying again… Damn it… Will I ever STOP crying? 

I remember our wedding day.. Everything was so perfect…so… beautiful… Her picture sleeps beside me every night and my heart longs for her to be in my arms. Fate is cruel, she died five years after we were married, shot to death by bandits while she was coming home from the hospital… carrying our baby in her arms. Not just one life was lost that fated day, two other people also died… My baby, Mariassa.. and myself… I am nothing without her.. I know it…and everyone else knows it too. Everyday I think about how fucking unfair life is. "It'll be all right… Life will go on…" says my so called "friends", but will it? I seriously doubt it. When those bastards shot my wife they also shot the baby in her arms. I swore vengeance on their hell bound souls. And when I swear something, I hold true to it. One by one, I blew off their heads, laughing as the other ones watching pleaded for me to stop. 

" Stop, I'm sorry!" said one of the little buggers, tears falling down his face. A twinge of compassion tugged at my hardened heart but was soon replaced by the lust for blood.

" Apologies will not bring Laraina OR Mariassa back to me!" I screamed, the venom from my heart leaking out into my words. I do not remember what else was said, all I remember was the sound of my shotgun and the last bandit's head exploding into a mushy mess. That sound… it has always haunted me. I get up, my bones creaking with age, and walk outside, all the children look at me and give me a faded smile. I smile back, but my smile is nothing but a ghost now. I walk through the gates and look up at the steep cliff's edge in front of me. To long have I lived this lie called life. I climb up slowly, careful not slip and break my bones ( Guardian's forbid that)

I reach the summit, I can see the sacrificial altar in the distance, the harsh Filgaia sun bouncing off of its tan exterior. How I long for the days when I was a drifter. I pull out Laraina's picture and look at her gentle smile. God how my heart aches… A single tear drops onto the picture and I wipe it gently away. I remember the nights when I would brush the hair from her face.. so tenderly.. I shake my head, it is too late to say that I am sorry. I look down and smile, it's a good 100 foot drop and the rocks are jagged. I close my eyes and step off the cliff, holding Laraina's smiling picture as I drop. I will no longer mourn…

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Virginia's View:

When I had read that they had found Gallows' mangled body on the rocks, I though that I would never stop crying. Jet, my husband, just held me in his strong arms and whispered comfort into my ear. I buried my face into his chest and sobbed my sorrow into his shirt. I don't know why this hit me so hard, I should have been expecting it. The day of Laraina's funeral was the worst I had ever seen of Gallows'. His face was dark from all of his weeping and his eyes were dull and filled with tears. As I walked away, I took a glance behind me and saw Gallows' fall to his knees beside the coffin and start to cry silently. I wanted to comfort him, but Jet just tugged on my arm and shook his head slowly.

" Let him mourn, there is nothing we can do." He said quietly. I nodded in agreement and walked away, clutching Jet's arm as tightly as I could. I knew that he was hurting… I felt it…And yet I did nothing for him. When I saw him, all I could do was give him a hug and tell him that I was sorry. He returned the hug, but it was more forced that affectionate. It was then that I knew that the Gallows' that we had fought with was gone….

The baby… Oh god… When they lowered the baby into the ground, it took several men to hold Gallows back. He was screaming and cursing at the Gods, demanding an answer. I saw his tears, I felt his pain… There was nothing that I could do, nothing at all. I had my happiness, and he had nothing. Jet is my life and I could only imagine how I would feel if I lost him. I will have to hold him tightly tonight and make sure that our love is extra special. His eyes are so warm now, I never thought I would see Jet's eyes that warm. But when we make love his eyes envelop me… I'm getting off tangent… I wonder if Gallows' would have been a good father? More than likely, he had such a big heart. I hate tears, they seem to wash all the good emotions away. I wonder, what did Gallows feel when he jumped off that cliff? Did he feel free, did he feel burdened? I will never know. I am aging, it's a strange thing, that. I'm 42 now, and Jet looks as if he is still 18. I feel strange sometimes because I'm asked if he's my son. And here I was hoping that I would age gracefully. Jet always says that I am gorgeous and that everyday that he sees me he loves me more… but still… I still worry…

Jet has been so understanding through this whole thing, he's been there for me every step of the way. They said that Gallows became a recluse after his wife and child died.. I wonder how he felt the night after the funeral? Well, thinking on such things will not serve me well. Tomorrow is Gallows' funeral and I have to be well rested if I am going to go.

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Jet's View

I remember the day that we got news of Gallows' death, I was hit by a flood of emotions. Grief, Anger, Frustration… and the emotions that we all feel that have no name. As I lay beside Virginia, I realize how lucky I am. Life has been good to me, and I know that I have no room to complain… I feel so bad about Gallows, but then again, there is nothing that can be done. Gallows decided to take his life, it was his decision and his alone. We all make decisions that we have to live with… No one can say that they have made a choice that did not have serious repercussions. Just look at my creation, I was raised in a tube and was cared for by a man that was consumed by grief. Grief.. I say that expression on Gallows' face, it made his face look so old… He was only 29 when Laraina died… but… His eyes made him look 50.. I had never seen Gallows that way before, and to be honest with you, seeing him as such scared the hell out of me. I mean, it seemed like only yesterday that he was putting his arm around me playfully and getting on my nerves…. But.. now, as I tighten my arm around Virginia, I see that I really kind of looked up to him. Sure he was somewhat of an idiot and a womanizer.. but hidden behind all of his fault was a heart of gold. Sometime, I have dreams of him carrying his little girl around on his back and when I wake up I am weeping. In my dreams his eyes were so bright, so full of love toward his wife and baby. I wonder if I was getting a vision from the gods?

The funeral is tomorrow, and I dread it so much, Virginia's going to be all distraught and I'm going to feel all those emotions at once. The night after we had heard of his death I had a weird dream. I felt the wind blowing through my hair and the feeling of gravity pulling at my feet. I did not want the fall to end, I wanted to keep on falling… It felt so pleasant…Then I looked down and saw the rocks, I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out.. I was so scared… Virginia woke me up with a kiss and held me until my heart slowed down to its normal pace. I love her so much, and I will never let anything bad happen to her… I wonder if Gallows blamed himself for Laraina's death? If he did he shouldn't of had, it was not his fault, he had to tend to affairs in Baskar and Laraina knew the risks of riding the train…But I bet that never crossed Gallows' mind. I bet that he just automatically assumed that everything was his fault and he started the cycle of self loathing. It is ironic, there was a point in my life that I felt nothing at all, and now I am at a period in my life that all these different feelings are hitting me at once. I am so confused, but… I have Virginia with me… and….and… Why am I crying?… I guess it's just that I know that her life will fade and die… and when that day comes, maybe I will understand Gallows' decision a little better.

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Clive's View

Tomorrow is Gallows' funeral, and I really feel numb about it and that worries me. Gallows was a good friend, he was always there to lend an ear or a kind smile to a friend in need. I feel so old.. I'm 54 and Kaitlyn is all grown up, I wonder if she's coming to the funeral. She said that she was, but I know that she's married and probably wants to spend sometime with HER little ones. I wonder if she remembers Gallows picking her up and putting her on his shoulder.

" Oh, look at this pretty little lady on my shoulder! Ain't she just the SWEETEST!" Gallows would coo as he walked down the road of Humphrey's Peak with her perched on his shoulder. She would laugh and tug at his hair and then kiss him on top of the head. She loved her Uncle Gallows… I guess I was a little bit jealous.. She seemed to love him so much. I remember tucking her in one night and she said to me: 

"Daddy, when is Uncle Gallows going to be back?" 

I told her that he would be back two days from now and that she should gets some rest.

As I sit here and think about life, I realize that I have not been here enough for my wife.. I regret that with all of my being. When I talk to her about it, she laughs a cheerful laugh and tells me not to worry about it and that she understood that I needed to keep the roof over their heads. I don't want my wife to die.. I wish to create a serum that makes a human eternal… I would do that and cast my soul into hell if I could see her live forever.. but I digress .. The real subject at hand is how I am going to handle Gallows' funeral. His brother, Shane, wanted me to help with the ceremony, of course I said "yes" I was not about to break the mans heart anymore than it already was.. He bowed to me and shook my hand, saying that it was his brother's wish for me to be there. And that got me thinking.. How long did Gallows think about his own demise? Everyday after his wife and daughters death… or sometime after..? I wanted so much to ease his pain at their funerals… but… My tongue felt all dry and heavy and I could not thing of anything to say… All I could do was hug him, rub his back and tell him that I was sorry… It apparently did not console him very much. The paper that I am holding makes that abundantly clear. 

It sounds so sterile when it is written in black and white. The caption reads in fine print: 

"Man Found Dead At The Foot Of Zio Mountains, Officials Say Suicide." I read it over and over and then look down at the picture. It is fuzzy but at the same time very clear. A mans form impaled by jagged rocks, his innards frozen on the point of the rock. I feel ill…. This photo will be stuck in my head and haunt my dreams for years to come. Gallows', where ever you are, I am happy that I knew you….Please rest in peace.

A/N: This is what happens when you listen to Three Doors Down and then Aeris' song….*sigh* 

(Bows) Thank you for your time.


End file.
